Yves
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Posts
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Posts posted by Yves
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Let me know how and when I can buy a shirt.
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oeps, you're right
my mistake :oops:
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... If you screamed for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you've produces enough energy to heat up a cup of coffee
(Don't think I'm going to try it)
... I you ducked for 6 years and 9 months, you got the same amouth of gas as a nuclear bomb
(thats more interesting)
... a pigs duck lasts for 30 minutes
(I want to be a pig in my next life, and hou did they found out??? and why??)
... if you smashed your head against the wall you burn 150 calories/houre
(still don't beleve those pigs)
... that people and dolphins are the onely species that have sex for fun
(thats why dolphins keep on smyling, but why does a pigs duck last for 30 minutes? It's not fair)
... an ant can lift 50 times his own weight, drag 30 times his weigt and fals on his right side when they are poisoned
(you got to have something to investigate?)
... polar bears are right handed
(who knews, who cares?)
... a flee can jump 350 times his body length? a humas would jump over 7 football feelds
(30 minutes? Can't beleve it. and why a pig??)
... a cockroach can live 9 days without his head and then he dies of starvation
(:? )
... a male grasshopper can't have sex when his head is still on his body. the female lets him know when she want to have sex by eating his head
(darling I'm home... o ohhh)
... some lions have sex more than 50 times a day
(I still want to be a pig, quality above quantity)
... the eye of the ostrich is bigger than their brains
(i know people where it's the same)
... a seastar hasn't got brains
(also know people like that)
now you have read this, I can onely say one thing,..........
.......
......
....
..
It are lucky ducks those pigs, and when you're wife calls you a pig, it's a compliment.
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Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
I know it's you.
Crap.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A talking pig.
Pigs can’t talk.
Neither can penguins, but I can’t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra…
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
You want to buy a kitten?
You want to buy a kitten who?
Make pretty pet.
I’m allergic to cats.
Taste good, too?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
You sure you don’t want buy a little kitten?
Yes, I’m sure.
Could make one cute fuzzy glove?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ted Bundy
Ted Bundy who?
Let me in, meat!
No!
I mean… Hello I am Santa Claus.
Yay! Santa!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile.
Saddam, I think it’s for you!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves!
Dork-ass loser.
Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
My mouth is full of spiders.
My mouth is full of spiders who?
I didn’t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting…
Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Hitler
Hitler who?
Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? “HEIL ME!†Ring a bell?
I thought you were someone else.
How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER!
Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler.
You’re just trying to annoy me now.
Do you really have just one testicle?
You’d think I miss it, but I don’t
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
What, and that makes you special?
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Some.
Some who?
Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes. .
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Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Sorry, wrong door.
Okay.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Federal Express
Federal Express who?
I don’t know. I just deliver packages.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom Buchanan.
Hi Tom.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Pizza delivery guy.
Pizza delivery guy who?
You ordered a pizza?
Yes.
I’m the guy delivering it.
Great.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Susan.
Susan who?
Susan Caldwell.
I’ll be right out, Susan.
Knock, knock
Who’s there.
You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable.
You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable who?
I thought this was a redneck joke.
Nope. It’s a knock, knock joke.
Oops.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who
Don’t get so upset, crybaby!
What?
Ha! Ha! I made you say “boo-hooâ€
You’re a real idiot.
That wasn’t necessary.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Creeping duck.
Creeping duck who?
I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!
Knock, knock
Yo mama
Yo mama who?
Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago.
I bet you’re fat, huh?
I’m…
You are, aren’t you? Fat!
I’m plumpish.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
FBI!
…
…
Hello? FBI! Let us in!
…
…nobody here…
Oh. Let’s go boys!
(Phew!)
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Henry.
Henry who?
Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac?
I’m not opening the door Henry.
Damn.
Knock, knock
Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH!
Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who?
Actually, I’m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So…
You want to use my toilet?
Yeah?
Go right ahead.
Got anything to read?
Just the crossword.
You finished it.
Sorry?
Hold my scythe.
Hey! Don’t forget to light a match.
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I Think Santa Claus Is A Woman...
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.
Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the "Ho Ho Ho" thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men......... - Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. - Cupid flies around carrying weapons. - Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.
Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.
I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!
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Don't know what the making of the shirts costs but
I hope not too much. :oops:
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thats me working with the mambo :wink:
the other LJ with the mambo frog build in a nice case
a small party @ Weelde (near the Duch border)
with:
-8 showtec typhoon
-16 par cans
-mambo frog
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ok
thx
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so the last programmed memory is on the playback X?
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I fotgot the name of itOK ... the Master fader next to the submasters is the playback x masterhow do I program the memory of the parcans on the current memory? :oops:
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I've done a show a couple of weeks ago and when I was programming at one time I could control my pars with the master next to the submasters. :?
I programmed them on to a submaster but they just came up there.
I really don't know how I did it, but it was ulefull becouse I worked with several pages of submasters and so didn't have to go to the page where my pars were.
could someone explain how I can do that again?
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According to the DSM IV, the essential symptoms are a continuous pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in social and occupational situations. This behavior usually begins in early adulthood. However it is also seen in childhood. These individuals frequently resent and resist demands to function at a level expected by others. It is commonly seen in the workplace, but also commonly seen in marriages and other relationships. The behavior is expressed by procrastination, forgetfulness, stubbornness, and intentional inefficiency 8O
this is verry difficult to say even when you're not drunk!! 8O
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And what the duck is passiv agressive disorder - some kind of sickness ?
don't know, but it its so difficult to say that it has to be something verry bad
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B sounds really good
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I think it was when I pressed a few buttons at the same time, but I'm not sure.
If I have the problem again I'll try to remember what I did.
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I also have seen the blue screen, but sinci I've restarted the desk (mambo) I never had the problem again.
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Consider you hire a car with a CD player and cassette player. Later you hire a cheaper model which only has a cassette player, you can't play your CD's in it ... that's life
nice one
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you're a lucky guy
going to see if they have a T-shirt in the store where I bought my mambo.
just have to wait till school is over.
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I'm also from belgium.
when you need some help translating contact me ICE
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to give 24 pages would be a much I think
but i'm willing to test the software.
positive thinking here.
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what have the beta-testers have to do?
if you need more testers I'll love to help.
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I had the same problem with the mambo.
we've build it in a flight case with 2 extra lamps.
It helpt a lot
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It may be the drinking :twisted:
also have that problem sometimes.
Fatfrog Crash
in Frog Range MK1
Posted
never had the problem again.
I hope to keep it this way.